Breathe. I know it’s been a long day. It’s okay to take a moment. I’ll do it with you. That’s right, you got this: in….out…in….out. I know what you’re expecting: that this article about not making a joke about Spotify wrapped is just going to be a long winded way of making a joke about Spotify wrapped. But worry not, dear reader, I am not here to torment you. I am here to give you respite, a blanket and a cup of tea. I am here to say: welcome to a safe space. A haven, if you will, away from the constant and seemingly never ending barrage of funny silly tweets about Spotify wrapped.

I too enjoyed opening my Spotify this morning to see that it had made a whole little song and dance all about me. I thought, wow, how sweet that Spotify went through all that trouble for little old me. And then, I opened instagram to find what? Mockery left and right. Tittering from every nook and cranny of the internet as they made their little jokes and twiddled their little thumbs across the keyboards to make endless relentless fun of Spotify wrapped. So stop your scrolling, sweet darling, and grab some yarn. Put a fire in your fireplace, or since most of us live in spaces smaller than 100 square feet, look up “crackling fire youtube video.” Go ahead, copy-paste that into Google for some real cozy vibes. Put on your Spotify-created top songs of the year playlist and enjoy as the noise that is the internet drifts further and further from your consciousness. Ah yes, there’s nothing like it. Sweet, sweet nothing (with Carseat Headrest in the background).

You know that pack of cookie dough that’s been sitting in your freezer for months? That’s right, baby cakes, it’s time. Take that pack out and pop that baby in the oven. Expiration dates are a  suggestion anyway. Fresh baked cookies. Mmmmm. Yummy. A perfect way to celebrate another day of moderate contentment. A good day indeed.

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