‘Twas the night before Cal Day
‘Twas the night before Cal Day,
And all through school,
Not a student was partying—
Not even a frat ghoul!
Their jerseys were hung
From their closets with care,
With the knowledge that St. Oski
Would soon start his fair.
The youths were all nestled,
Snug in their twin beds,
As visions of White Claws
Danc’d in their heads.
My roommate in her heatless curls,
And me in my bikini,
Thought fondly of photos
Taken ‘front the Campanile—
When all of a sudden
We heard such a cry,
We sprung from our enclosures
Just to see why!
There on our phone screens,
Every Cal student could see,
A weather update,
Of the coldest degree!
On our day of merriment,
This upcoming Saturday,
It seemed we would be liable,
To be washed away.
How would prospective students,
Not be inclined to say,
“It’s awfully damp here—
Better go to UCLA”?
How, in dry-ass California—
How could it be?
That this one weekend of tabling,
The land would become Sea?
There was only one answer,
One reason for the weather,
Those dismal rainclouds,
That would wash away our body glitter—
Yes, Berkeley Brains,
Asking “whatever for?”
All came to the realization
God went to Stanford.
So students be watchful,
Be wary this weekend,
With extra thick socks,
Our plans the weather WILL NOT upend,
For (depending on who you ask)
We are the number one public institution,
And if anyone can,
It’s us that will find a solution.
May the Tree fear itself,
Has it looked in the mirror?
Us in Blue and Gold,
Could not see it clearer.
Yes, come rain or come shine,
We’ll emerge from our lairs,
For if there’s one thing that’s constant,
It’s Go Motherf*&%$#g Bears.