I was leaving texts from my long-term medium-distance low-committment casual boy that’s a friend on delivered when I realized I had made the greatest advancement to feminism since they installed free period products in Dwinelle and then never refilled them ever again. I had flipped the tables on men. I had broken the glass ceiling. I am the emotionally unavailable one this time! It’s my turn to like a man’s stories without responding to his messages! It’s my turn to cancel a date and blame it on my midterms and being in a bad headspace! It’s my turn to post a semi-thirst trap to a Brent Faiyaz song! Two days after my current situationship, Busch Wick’s last text, I liked his message and sent back “lmaoooo!” Gone are the days when I would listen to “Bags” by Clairo and “Waiting Room” by Phoebe Bridgers on repeat. I have risen above the social obstacles that reduced me to crying in the shower over a man who never takes off his tiny ass sailor beanie!
Back in high school, my idea of social change for women was planning a Sadie Hawkins dance as Activities Commissioner of ASB. Now that I’ve been a UC Berkeley student for 4 weeks and can practice the same emotional aloofness once done unto me, I can now truly place myself amongst the likes of Susan B. Anthony and Emma Watson, becoming the best feminist I can be. What more can you ask of me? I‘ve already been reposting @changedotorg infographics to my Instagram story and posted a selfie of me wearing an “I Voted” sticker on Election Day. My emotional aloofness is just the logical next step!
Honestly, this whole situation has really radicalized me. Like, I could be the next Lysistrata, probably. It’s made me re-evaluate a lot of my important values — I even took off the Friends sticker on my laptop and replaced it with a Gilmore Girls one, in the middle of the Free Speech Movement Cafe, while texting like five guys “if i saw you in real life id mumble like an idiot” on Hinge at once. I mean, at the end of the day, practicing feminism really is all about turning the tide back on men, and reclaiming my power to follow them on Spotify and never talk to them again!