STANFORD, Calif. — Stanford University School of Medicine’s recent $55 million dollar donation is in jeopardy following gross misconduct of a graduate student at the 2025 International Oncology Conference, according to reports from an internal whistleblower.
“First of all, he smelled terrible. At the start, I believed he was facing a medical emergency. He kept mentioning his stomach if I remember correctly,” recalls Stanford’s Dr. Namazy. “Much to my surprise, when I asked how he was doing, he said he’s never been better.”
The graduate student in question, Conrad Fisher, was first seen stumbling into the convention center after the start of his scheduled keynote presentation holding hands with a woman with a short bob. They were later caught by convention center security having intimate relations in the second floor men’s bathroom.
“I fired him on the spot. I have never seen anyone so happy to lose their job,” continued Dr. Namazy. “I considered him to be one of the top pupils in my lab. I’ve worked closely with him for the past four years. He’s always been laser focused; he never stops until he achieves his goal.”
Fellow Stanford medical students claim they haven’t seen Fisher since the fiasco.“It’s an embarrassment to the department,” explains graduate student Agnes Madison. “He leaves Dr. Namazy on one of the most important days of her life and then is posting pictures from all around Paris the next day like nothing happened.”
Recent sources claim Fisher has overstayed his tourist visa by over four weeks while living with his girlfriend in the heart of Paris. At the time of publication, the French Office for Immigration has issued Fisher a fine and is evaluating further action.