MIAMI, Fl. – After a crazy night out in Miami, it’s official: your ex is doing sooooo much better without you. The night was so legendary that a photo of them getting hit on by three men has been immortalized all over the internet, not to mention their newly busted lip! The next stop for your ex is Las Vegas where they will be performing for millions on the Strip weekly.
It’s been obvious for months that while they’re becoming a widely adored millionaire at the height of their career, you’ve been suffering in mediocrity. They are doing so much better than you that people wonder how they ever were with you in the first place – and that your ex was definitely right in dumping your sorry ass!
Still, your ex can’t deny that you were their first everything. Sure, maybe they moved to Indiana and get interviewed on TV now, but you used to get some play too. Just look at those highlight reels of the two of you…. You realize you should have used protection with them. You just hope they think back on your time together with the same fondness you do.