BERKELEY, Calif. – In preparation for the Big Game, Chancellor Rich Lyons, General Manager Ron Rivera and 3-time mascot heavyweight champion Oski met with Justin …
“Trump Sucks!” No Longer an Opinion
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The President has long been accused of “sucking,” of “horsing around” in office, but the Head of State has never allowed himself …
Campanile Sagging Totally Normal in Old Age
BERKELEY, Calif — Following another disappointing night, the Campanile is coming to terms with it no longer being as erect as it used to be. …
UC Berkeley Manages to Outdo Utah Valley University
BERKELEY, Calif – Following TPUSA’s penultimate event on the Berkeley campus, tensions remain at an all time high as peaceful protests quickly devolved into what …
President Trump Investigates UC Berkeley, Cites “it just feels gay”
WASHINGTON, D.C. — At the recent TPUSA Stand Up Show-Charlie Kirk memorial hybrid, President Trump announced a list of schools he plans to target next, …
Local Student Co-Op Threatens to Throw Halloween Party
BERKELEY, Calif. – Earlier this week on Monday, UC Berkeley students were rattled by the release of a rather daunting Instagram post. A local student …
Campus Bathrooms to Now Require Two Factor Authentication
BERKELEY, Calif – News from top Berkeley officials broke late last week about the implementation of a new widespread campus policy. In line with the …
UC Berkeley Announces Exciting 150+ Community Member Giveaway!
BERKELEY, Calif. – In a long-awaited team-up between two all-star administrations, UC Berkeley has officially announced the beginning of their collaboration with the federal government …
‘Does Anyone Know What to Do????’ Asks Entire Nation
AMERICA – Following numerous events and incidents, people across the nation this week are collectively asking: “does anyone know what to do?” “I honestly have …
Making the Founders Proud! University of California Changes Hiring Policy to “Whites Only”
OAKLAND – After enacting a ban on diversity related statements in their hiring process, the University of California administration has announced that, in order to …