I’ve tried countless anti-aging serums, under-eye creams, and even botox. But nothing has ever made me appear so youthful as wearing a lanyard like a lost Berkeley freshman!
Congratulations, you’ve been accepted to UC Berkeley, the #1 public university in the world! Get ready for a year of learning, growth, and lifelong memories. But be careful, you wouldn’t want to sully your first year of college with a common form of inflammatory arthritis that causes severe pain, redness, and tenderness in your joints. So let’s see- can you make it through your freshman year without getting gout?
“Seriously, it’s so crazy. Did you know that America… is racist?”