All of life’s fleeting joys — sunrises, ripe avocados, silly string, hot chocolate — are mere trifles next to my GPA, the pinnacle of my existence that will undoubtedly be relevant in all areas of my life, forever and always.
Professor Outraged: Disabled Student Stuck in Elevator Doesn’t Even Show Up for Class
BERKELEY, Calif. – In a brazen move, CED junior Clarisa Flores has missed the first two weeks of classes after getting trapped in Wheeler’s elevator, …
Student Miraculously Cured After Professor Deems Them “Not Really Disabled”
BERKELEY, Calif. – After years of begging for disability accommodations, campus super-senior Ash Jensen was miraculously cured of their chronic illness when their philosophy professor …