“Textbooks are bulky, expensive, and information-bloated, so I’ve sent off only the key information to get duplicated at Copy Central,” Professor Sirico wrote on page 12 of his 53-page course syllabus. “For about $20, you can pick up a copy of me who knows all the course content. He will not, however, know basic stuff like toilet training or which fork goes where at fancy dinner parties, so teaching that to him is on you. In fact, his ability to use the toilet is going to be worth a quarter of your final grade. Good luck!”