Hello Bears! In case you didn’t know (you un-woke fool) the ASUC livestreams all of their senate meetings, and boy is it eventful! Here’s a great drinking game that makes watching the four hours of student government proceedings more entertaining and allows you to be politically aware of the events happening at Cal.

  1. Go to Safeway and buy alcohol with your fake (yay for sketchy liquor licenses being reinstated!)
  2. Take a shot every time someone speaks too close to the microphone and damages the eardrums of everyone in the senate. 
  3. Drink a beer for every person that covers the livestream camera by sitting in front of it and showing their buttcrack.
  4.  Drink one White Claw for every second over two minutes a passionate senator continues to speak during Public Comments, despite the entire senate yelling at them to stop.
  5. Sigh every time the mediator is too nice for his job (no alc necessary here, this poor guy just wants people to not hate him for cutting them off after their two minutes are over)
  6. Take a shot every time someone uses the term “due process”
    1. Take two shots if they obviously don’t know what due process is
  7. Drink every time you can see the reflection of the guy holding the livestream camera in the window (illusion ruined :o) 
  8. Shotgun a beer every-time you start to question why you need to use a drinking game as social lube to talk to people and feel comfortable. 
    1. Plus side here, shotgunning a beer will help you feign happiness and mask social anxiety!
  9. Seriously feel bad for the mediator when he has to politely ask people to “quiet down” and stop speaking over him (we love you, mediator man!)
  10.  Drink when a white student describes themselves as disenfranchised
    1. Bonus drinks if other white students snap in response
  11. Take a shot when someone says “like” or “um” at least 10 times within the first five seconds of their speech.
  12.  Just drink the whole handle when someone inevitably quotes the Bible.
  13.  Drink two White Claws every-time you question why you haven’t joined the ASUC.
    1. Drink five if you’re still thinking about joining
  14.  Put on a pants-suit if someone mentions impeachment.

There you have it! We hope that you enjoy your stay at Alta Bates after you have your stomach pumped post playing this drinking game. 

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