BERKELEY, Calif. — Lay’s newest flavor, CRISPR chips, are spreading across the nation and quickly becoming America’s favorite potato chip. 

“You know when you’re drinking from your reusable water bottle and you haven’t cleaned it in a little while and it has that musty flavor? That’s exactly what the CRISPR chips taste like,” says Cal Cross Country athlete Emily Nguyen. “The CRISPR chips perfectly capture that bacterial twang flavor a lot of people secretly enjoy.”

Lay’s CEO Steven Williams discussed his thoughts on the new chip flavor as well.

“I think it is pretty obvious that I thought the chips were crispy flavored, not CRISPR. I guess no one batted an eye because we already have so many absolutely ridiculous flavors. But honestly, if you make Caesar salad and Cappuccino flavored chips, why not create some based on Nobel prize winning gene-editing technology? No one really knows how Lay’s is still in business…” 

The bacterium making up the microbiome inside Steven William’s small intestine also weighed in on their thoughts about the new chips.

“The nutritional benefits from digesting these chips are completely unheard of. There isn’t a doubt in our nuclei that these chips are going to be the next Clif Bar. One little nibble from our carbohydrate-active enzymes to make the chips diffuse into our cytoplasms and we can’t get cancer!” the bacterium eagerly reported as their flagellums rapidly wiggled with excitement. “We really have to thank Jennifer Doudna for helping make something so nutritious and tasty.” 

At press time Lay’s was researching the development of peace flavored potato chips.

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