While the Berkeley administration has been trying for years to change the name of Dead Week, they have never been successful in their pursuit. Reading, Review, and Recitation Week? No chance. Truth be told, I haven’t done a course reading since the second week of freshman fall. I am obsessed with tech reviews but don’t think the week is worthy of being named after them. The only things I am able to recite are the quadratic formula, the intro to Avatar the Last Airbender and the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise. Rather than listen to what Marky Mark and the administration have to say, here are 100 alternatives for what we could call not-alive week this year:
- I’m Weak
- You Shall Not Pass Week
- Puke and Rally Week
- I’m Gonna Start Studying Today Week
- YJS%AJSHAJDHAKUYHUADBAKUWHBAIUSDAJS*67D Week
- You ever Sit back and Think Stanford’s Mascot is A Fucking Tree LMAO Week
- The Week Where Instead of Masturbating for Pleasure You do It Because It’s a Good Study Break
- Oski Hibernation Week
- The Big Lame
- mEnTaL hEalTh wEeK
- Can’t Will Myself to Eat at Crossroads Anymore Week
- Take-Out Week
- The Week(nd)
- Procrastination Week
- Should’ve went to UC Santa Cruz Week (shoutout Hasan)
- Chase Garbers Tribute Week
- Carol “Cares” About Mental Health Week
- Wake Up After 12 Each Day Week
- X Equals Negative b Plus or Minus Square Root of b Squared Minus 4ac Alllll over Two a Week
- Go to Moffit and Pretend to Study Week
- Go to Mainstacks and Actually Study Week
- DOEs Anyone Actually Go to Doe Week?
- Music Library is Excessively Underrated Week
- Smells Like EECS Week
- Stress Shopping Season
- Tyler Goldstein Week (Worth a Try)
- Watch Me Epically Fail at Catching Up on Lectures Week
- Free Weed Week (Maybe If Enough Of Us Say It It’ll Happen)
- The Week Were Frank Ocean, Kanye and Playboi Carti Dropped an Album
- Greek Life Goes to Tahoe Week
- The Week Where all The Berkeley COVID Cases Went Away ^
- The Dark Side of the Force is a Pathway to Many Abilities Some Consider to be Unnatural Week
- The Longest Week
- The Shortest Week
- Somehow Both the Longest and Shortest Week Week
- Insert [Expletive] Week
- Uber-Eat Everyday Week
- *chuckles* I’m In Danger Week
- AHHHHHHHH Week
- What Day Is it?
- Sounds Like A Future Me Problem Week
- Dolphin Week (Why Do Sharks Only Get One?) #givedolphinsaweek
- Vampire Week(end)
- Follow The Free Peach Week!
- I Believe Aang Can Save the World Week
- Rewatch the Office Week
- Rewatch Parks and Rec Week (CNR only)
- Rewatch Suits Week (Haas Only)
- Time to Redownload Hearthstone Week (Engineers only)
- Make a List of 100 Names for Dead Week Instead of Studying Week
- Did You Know I Left My Room Twice This Week?
- Time to Go on Costar Again Week
- Cal Week (Rip Cal Day 2020)
- What’s the Lowest Grade I Can Get and Pass Week
- 18 Essays Due Week
- Fuck it I’m Just Gonna Fail Week
- Binge Boba Week
- Ugh Week
- Excessive Piazza Notifications Because of Those Three People In Your class Week
- I’m On A Study Break Week
- Streak Week
- What is the Lowest Grade I Can Get on My Finals to Still Get an A Week
- Can I Use My Late Drop Week
- The Week Where I Start Watching Lectures
- I Miss My Dog Week
- I Want a Dog Week
- The Semesters Alllllmost Over Week
- I Wish Eric Andre Went to This Berkeley Week
- Abnormal Amount of Campus Emails Week
- Depression Awareness Week
- How Late Can You Stay Up Week
- Ayo I Need Adderall Week
- Why Are People Always Taking Graduation Photos Under Sather Gate Week
- GBO Felt Shorter Than This Week
- Asynchronous Is Absolute Asshole Week
- Berkeley Bears Barf Week
- Cal Cocks and Coochie Week
- Definitely Determined to Drop Week
- Essentially Stress Eating Everything Week
- Fuck Fuck Fuck Week
- Grotesque Gastrointestinal Issues Week
- Help Help Help Week
- I’m Illiterate How Did I get This Far Week
- Just…Just please end already Week
- Not Going To Do a Triple K One Because You Know Obvious Reasons
- L Week
- Motherfucking Week
- Nope Nope Nope Week
- Oh My God I Can’t Believe The Semester’s Almost Over Week
- Please Please Pass Week
- Quick Question Week
- Really Really Restless Week
- Shit Week
- Tang Week
- Uh Oh You’re In Trouble Week
- Very Very Vulnerable Week
- Welp Week
- XXX Week ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
- Yup You’re Doomed Week
- Zzzzzz Week