SAN FRANCISCO – One man recently made a bold claim that Kanye West is the greatest rapper of all time. This claim greatly astonished his friend, however, who couldn’t help but wonder: hasn’t he ever heard of Macklemore?
“I am simply dumbfounded,” began said friend, Robert Snoob. “People are always talking about Kanye this and Kanye that. I never hear anyone rave about the rap artist that has truly defined our generation and the genre as we know it: Benjamin Hammond Haggerty, otherwise known as Macklemore. ‘Thrift Shop.’ ‘Can’t Hold Us.’ ‘Downtown.’ I mean, come on,” he chuckled. “Don’t tell me you’ve heard better lyrics than, ‘She get too comfortable, bathroom door open when she boo-boo-ing.’ Heck, remember ‘Same Love?’ I doubt gay marriage would still be legal if that wasn’t released. And let’s not forget his profound societal commentary found in ‘White Privilege II.’ Like, as a white man, he gets that people are racist. The Grammy Voting Committee clearly agrees!”
“Um, yeah, I’m gonna have to step in here,” interrupted Snoob’s Kanye-loving friend, Max South. “I’mma let you finish, but Kanye has to be one of the best rappers of all time! One of the best rappers of all time!.”
Snoob sighed. “Okay, to be fair, Kanye has actually created some real works of art within his discography, with arguably more relevant social commentary.”
South looked up in surprise. “Oh, seriously? That’s actually sick. Honestly, I’m more of a contemporary fan.” Snoob blanched as South continued, “Some say that’s a ‘red flag.’ But I say I’m more of a ‘misunderstood genius,’ aka exactly what Kanye is. I honestly see a lot of myself in him. Like, including Marilyn Manson on Donda? That just made such a statement. And that statement was, ‘I hate women,’ which I totally agree with.”
Despite their tense conversation, Snoob and South were spotted moments later bonding over mutual hatred for G-Eazy. More updates to come.