BERKELEY, Calif. — As Euphoria viewers debate whether or not Sydney Sweeney’s nudity in Euphoria is “necessary vulnerability that adds to the art” or “just a way for [showrunner] Sam Levinson to see titties in real life”, the president of Cal’s male feminist club “feMENism” student Josh Andrews reminds us what really matters.

“I actually watch Euphoria for Sydney Sweeney’s acting skills. I don’t even know why people keep talking about Sydney Sweeney’s boobs—I honestly haven’t even noticed them,” claims Josh. “What are they, A cups? Everytime a her sex scenes comes on, I get turned on by her brain and jerk off to her ability to commit fully to her character. It feels good to be an ally to women.”

When pressed to elaborate on what he liked about Sydney Sweeney’s personality specifically, Andrews said “what do you mean, I just told you?”

Not everyone, however, shares Josh’s (self-described) progressive stance.

“We’ve gone two whole episodes without seeing Sydney Sweeney’s tits! This is ridiculous!” decried UC Berkeley student Justin Miller. “I’m starting to forget what they even look like — it’s not like any other media can overexpose me to nudity! What am I supposed to do, rewatch the previous episodes and fast forward to Cassie’s scenes? Because I have done that multiple times and it’s getting old. When is my man Sam going to get back on track?”

UC Berkeley film professor Anna Kopel expressed her views on the series.

“As a female, it feels a little male-gazey,” Professor Kopel explained. “As a lesbian, I’m a big fan of the creative choices made. But I don’t feel that all of the nudity is necessary to move the plot forward, and maybe Sam Levinson is taking advantage of his power to include excess nudity in the script because, ultimately, he wants to see them titties.”


Photo by Apunto Group Agencia de publicidad from Pexels

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