BERKELEY, Calif. — In a shocking display of thoughtless neglect, UC Berkeley freshman Hans Dummkopf failed to consider his lack of funds before selfishly getting …
Professor Requires Students to Buy Tiny, Homunculus Clones of Him from Copy Central
“Textbooks are bulky, expensive, and information-bloated, so I’ve sent off only the key information to get duplicated at Copy Central,” Professor Sirico wrote on page 12 of his 53-page course syllabus. “For about $20, you can pick up a copy of me who knows all the course content. He will not, however, know basic stuff like toilet training or which fork goes where at fancy dinner parties, so teaching that to him is on you. In fact, his ability to use the toilet is going to be worth a quarter of your final grade. Good luck!”
Medical School Responds to Public Health Crisis by Lowering Acceptance Rate
SAN FRANCISCO — In the wake of COVID-19, the worldwide need for healthcare professionals has skyrocketed, leading to concerns that medical schools will be training …
Class No Longer Optional
BERKELEY, Calif. — To the dismay of Cal students, University Chancellor Carol Christ has officially ended the two-week extension of Winter Break and announced that …