BERKELEY, Calif. — In an attempt to better market to UC Berkeley Students, Games of Berkeley has started selling Russian Roulette.
“The board games aren’t doing too well right now. I mean, I get it. Who’s gonna buy Clue when you can act out your most violent and perverted possible fantasies in GTA? So we wanted to sell a game with some real stakes to match that immersion,” owner Mick Campbell explained. “It adds much-needed spice to the bland monotonous husks of lives most students at Cal lead.”
Employees are excited to sell the new game.
“Each set comes with an authentic Soviet OTs-01 Kobalt revolver loaded with exactly one bullet,” store clerk Clarence Young detailed. “The set comes with a small instruction booklet with detailed pictures so all of the ‘ages 5 and up’ demographic can understand how to use it. After all, it would be irresponsible to give a gun to a first grader without showing them colorful drawings that sorta explain what it’s all about.”
Student response has been positive, as storekeepers had expected.
“I bought this game after a brutal CS61B midterm and instantly fell in love,” sophomore Colin Zhou endorsed. “This game has taken over my life. I tried to play it with my friends but they called me ‘actually crazy’ and stopped talking to me. I now hang with a new, more dangerous crew. I’ve stopped going to class and interacting with my family. All I do is chainsmoke with my squad in a dimly-lit alley, take turns spinning the cylinder. I’ve never felt more alive. Overall, I’d give it a 9.5/10.”
However, not all members of the community were supportive of the new item.
“It’s despicable, these young impressionable kids might find this game, see that the revolver in the set looks like something from a violent video game, play that game, and then be inspired to kill people with a revolver in real life,” Parents Against Fun organizer Tammy Miles yelled. “No matter how harmless giving kids access to a lethal weapon may seem, it’s a gateway to playing video games.”
At press time, Games of Berkeley staff were seen stocking a spinoff set called “Oops! All Bullets.”