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Posted on May 15, 2023 by: Valmic Mukund

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Tag: Ajay Madala

Posted on December 1, 2022December 2, 2022 by: The Free Peach

Heartwarming! Nation’s Political Leadership Overcomes Bitter Partisan Division to Fuck Over Rail Workers

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a miraculous gesture of bipartisanship, elected officials of both major political parties managed to put aside their differences to force rail …

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Posted on October 31, 2022November 1, 2022 by: The Free Peach

Haas Student Wearing Everyday Outfit Wins Contest for ‘Best Bloodsucking Parasite’ Costume

BERKELEY, Calif. – At an ASUC Superb event this weekend, undergraduate business student Michael Kochnoffer took home the grand prize in a Halloween costume contest …

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Posted on May 3, 2022May 3, 2022 by: Ajay Madala

Best of Berkeley 2022

Although it’s only May, we feel it is the appropriate time to give recommendations for the best Berkeley sites of 2022. We are incredibly privileged …

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Posted on April 26, 2022April 26, 2022 by: Ajay Madala

BREAKING: You Need to Call Your Dad, He’s Lonely

EVERY SUBURBAN TOWN – Local officials have concluded that your dad calling you three days in a row, all at 5:00 AM, is just the …

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Posted on April 7, 2022April 22, 2022 by: Ajay Madala

Games of Berkeley Now Selling Russian Roulette

BERKELEY, Calif. — In an attempt to better market to UC Berkeley Students, Games of Berkeley has started selling Russian Roulette. “The board games aren’t …

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Posted on March 31, 2022March 31, 2022 by: Ajay Madala

Frat Almost Kills Pledge as “Postmodern Commentary on Excess and Hedonism of Contemporary Society”

BERKELEY, Calif. — Following a recent hazing incident in which a freshman pledge almost died, Tau Gamma Rho junior and HR representative Bryce Chuck claimed …

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Posted on March 28, 2022 by: Valmic Mukund

Will Smith Finally Tired of Other Men Screaming Out His Wife’s Name

LOS ANGELES — At this year’s Academy Awards, Will Smith open-hand smacked Chris Rock in an attempt to defend his much-publicized marriage to actress Jada …

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Posted on March 16, 2022 by: Ajay Madala

Stanford Version of CALPIRG Raises $10K to “Kill All Them Turtles”

STANFORD, Calif. — After a recent fundraising event, Stanford University’s environmental activist group STANSHART found they had raised over ten thousand dollars to “kill all …

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Posted on March 9, 2022March 9, 2022 by: Ajay Madala

OPINION: Despite My Grandma Saying I Am “A Very Handsome Boy,” I Am Currently Single

War. Wealth Inequality. Broken McDonalds ice cream machines. These issues pale in comparison to the true tragedy of the 21st century, the fact that I …

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