Hey guys, super embarrassing but… I know it’s been 10 years since Kony 2012 and my memory is just not what it used to be – did we do something about that?

I mean do you even remember who Kony is? Like some snow cone mascot? A traffic cone spokesperson? Why 2012? Was he in LMFAO? Did he sing Gangnam Style?

What was that all about anyway? The Presidential election is a little too obvious; what else happened in 2012? Was Kony the Republican incumbent that year? Maybe it was about that really shitty movie 2012, I’m pretty sure you could convince me that some guy named Kony was in it. Or maybe produced it? Or maybe watched it? I’m at my wits end. 

How come he gets to have a number with his name? Who are the 2,011 other Konys? I mean I’m jealous; I too want to have the same name as 2,011 of my best friends – just like girls named Emily in Greek life. 

Was Kony someone I just knew personally? I have a shirt that says “Kony 2012” for some reason but I’m scared to wear it out in public in case it aged poorly. Why did Kony spring for Gildan? Is he a 17 year old starting a streetwear brand? 

Kony 2012 – I know that name… maybe he was my AYSO coach? But not the cool one who brought orange slices, he was the one who set up the cones – that’s why he’s Kony! 

Were the 2012 Olympics held in some place called Kony? Oh maybe that island in New York – wait, is he that island in New York? Did something big happen there in 2012? Did someone just write it as “Kony” instead of Coney and now we’ve Mandela Effect-ed ourselves into believing that’s how it’s always been? Is that the year Joey Chestnut won his first title at Coney Island? 

Maybe the real Kony 2012 is the friends we made along the way… 🙂 No wait that’s stupid, I think the real Kony 2012 was killed and replaced with a fake – I mean just listen to “Kony Fields Forever.”

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