You love your grandma. Of course you do. When you were growing up, she made you delicious cookies and hot tomato soup and was an absolute gem of a human being to be around. So why has talking with her felt more… cringe than usual lately? Could it be the super-clingy messages that she keeps sending ou late at night? (“Please come over sweetie! I haven’t seen you in a long time and I really miss you!!! *heart emoji* *heart emoji* *kiss emoji* P.S. I’ll bake your favorite lasagna!!!”) Maybe it’s how she keeps trying to piggyback off of your clout (like when she kept yelling “That’s my grandchild!!!” at your high school graduation)? Or maybe it’s the fact that she uses Facebook and only has two friends???

Let’s face it: your grandma simply isn’t relevant anymore. It’s sad, but it’s true. Here are the top ten ways to let her know that she fell off:

  1. Send her a video of you eating another grandma’s cookies. Your grandma will definitely know how far she has fallen once she sees you hanging out with the competition.
  2. Dab on her in public. For bonus points, capture it on video and upload it to TikTok!
  3. Reply to all of her texts with clown emojis. This will let her know that she is a clown and therefore should not be taken seriously.
  4. Include her in a cringe compilation. Those pesky ‘I love you’ messages will definitely make for quality content!
  5. Tell her “no thank you” when she asks if you want more mashed potatoes at dinner. Those potatoes are pretty damn good though. Stay strong.
  6. Upload a 10-hour YouTube video essay documenting her decline. It doesn’t really matter what you talk about as long as the video is supplemented with sufficiently foreboding music.
  7. Unsubscribe. If you just click the gray box at the corner of the screen, she legally won’t be your Grandma anymore.
  8. Make her the Soy Wojak. Modern science has yet to develop a recovery for this.
  9. Nominate her for a Razzie. To your knowledge, your grandma isn’t involved in the film industry, but it’s still kind of cool that Hollywood has an entire awards ceremony dedicated to shitting on people.
  10. Ratio her into oblivion. When all else fails, a simple ‘L + ratio + you fell off’ always does the trick. Possibly follow it up with a ‘get good,’ ‘basic skill issue,’ ‘cope + seethe,’ ‘touch grass,’ and/ or ‘get a life.’ It may seem harsh, but it’s necessary. After all, you wouldn’t want your grandma to be blissfully living her life without regard to the opinions of random strangers on the Internet, now would you?

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