BERKELEY, Calif. – In a groundbreaking display of finesse and style, Berkeley student Ryan Story cuffed his pants. 

“I mean, yeah, I just threw this outfit together, I just wanted to add a little flair to my outfit, I’m also in Superb so it’s kinda a uniform, but not like in a crypto-fascist way, more in a 2003 Tina Fey way,” Ryan said.

Giving a rundown on his outfit, Ryan explained the origins of each item on his person.

“This tee is from Urban Ore, the jacket and the beanie are vintage, thrifted,” Ryan explained. “Underwear is also thrifted. I’m not sure where these pants are from; they’re probably thrifted too. And then some Chuck 70s.”

Ryan’s roommate John offered their perspective. 

“My problem isn’t even how it looks,” John said. “My problem is that he pretends that he doesn’t spend an extra 10 minutes cuffing his pants and trying out different flannels to layer because he thinks it’s embarrassing if he knows where his pants are from (they’re from Everlane by the way, not thrifted).”

Ryan responded that it’s not just his outfit that makes him unique. He repeatedly mentioned how he “isn’t like other guys” and enjoys things like social justice advocacy. After he was asked to present some examples, Ryan said that he posted an infographic “when the Supreme Court did that thing” and that he also paints his nails to break down gender norms. “It also means I get tons of bitcheslike, so many chicks.,” he said. “I mean women who I respect and don’t objectify. God is a woman!”

At press time, Ryan was seen eating shit after falling off his skateboard while attempting to wave to a girl on Sproul.

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