BERKELEY, Calif. – Berkeley senior Cameron Hall found himself in a predicament faced by many when he was unable to enroll in basic human happiness due to the unit cap enforced in Phase 1 of course enrollment in CalCentral.

“I’ve been trying to enroll in happiness since freshman fall, but the class keeps getting filled up in Phase 1 and my units always end up being maxed out before I can enroll. The capacity of the class is tiny and the waitlist seems to go on indefinitely. I’ve asked around and I don’t know a single person who’s actually been able to snag the class on their first try,” explained Hall, who had spent days and sleepless nights monitoring the course enrollment page in the hopes of getting a spot in the class.

Cameron, a computer science major who needs human happiness to declare his major and graduate, has grown increasingly frustrated with the course enrollment system. 

“I’ve been able to complete the 61 course series, please my overbearing family, fix my deep-rooted trust issues, and finish two prestigious tech internships by my junior year,” continued Hall. “Regardless of all these milestones there’s still a screaming void of darkness in my heart and I still can’t get a spot in happiness! I’ve emailed the professor but he’s inaccessible and never responds to email. The phase system’s restrictions seem entirely unnecessary – it’s like the school doesn’t want us to enroll.”

UC Berkeley’s course enrollment system has faced long-standing criticism from students. In response to this criticism, the Office of the Registrar issued a statement explaining the phase system, unit caps, and the difficulty of enrolling in happiness.

“The phase system ensures that people can effectively prioritize their courses in order of what is most important to them,” explained Karen Kriss, a representative from the Office. “In Hall’s case, happiness should not be a priority for him in relation to his many other classes and more pressing responsibilities as a student. If students really want a course, they should simply work harder and stop complaining. Not everyone deserves happiness, and students should strategize competitively in order to get it. If there’s no space for it in your schedule, move on and try again later in Phase 2, next semester, or your next lifetime. May the odds be ever in your favor.”

As a final note, Hall clarified that the happiness he was referring to was not “The Science of Happiness,” a popular online course open to absolutely anyone for enrollment.

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