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Posted on October 13, 2026 by: Alexander Paris-Callahan

UC Berkeley Celebrates Ranking As #1 Producer Of Startups Most Likely To End Humanity

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Tag: enrollment

Posted on December 6, 2022September 27, 2023 by: valzzz

Berkeley Student Unable to Enroll in Happiness Until Phase 2

BERKELEY, Calif. – Berkeley senior Cameron Hall found himself in a predicament faced by many when he was unable to enroll in basic human happiness …

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Posted on October 24, 2022February 14, 2024 by: Tohar Zamir

Advisor Places Hold On My Hand

BERKELEY, Calif. – Members of the Applied Satire department were mortified early Wednesday morning to discover the floating Orb of Doom (no, not the Evans one) in the upper right-hand corner of CalCentral: a Hold on their account.

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Posted on September 22, 2022September 23, 2022 by: bennettfees

Carol Christ’s ‘Undercover Boss’ Episode Canceled Due to Waitlist Status

BERKELEY, Calif. – Despite her passion for the show, Carol Christ will no longer be participating in ‘Undercover Boss’ as she never managed to get off the waitlist for any of her classes.

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Posted on November 6, 2021November 7, 2021 by: tomwickline

Freshman With Late Enrollment Left With Only Classes from University of Phoenix

BERKELEY, Calif. — In an unfortunate turn of events, freshman Elliot Hogg was left taking only online classes from the University of Phoenix after having …

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Posted on October 15, 2021 by: Bernard Chan

Cal Announces New Course Enrollment Process

“I can’t share all of the details, but our new plan fundamentally makes class enrollment fairer,” Vice Chancellor of Enrollment Todd Bondy announced in a press release. “We just want to test the true will and desire of students to be enrolled in the classes they want.”

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