BERKELEY, Calif – Since the closure of Moffitt (fan-favorite yapping spot and alleged “library”), students around campus have been forced to procrastinate literally everywhere elsewhere. With the onset of finals approaching, dozens of students have trudged past the shuttered library and wistfully reminiscenced on days spent eating, talking, scrolling, crying, sleeping, and even studying in its hallowed halls. However, one dedicated student never left.
“One minute, I was applying to internships while contemplating my future unemployment, and the next, they just boarded up the doors!”Junior CS major and current Moffitt full-time resident Kev McCalister has been living inside the library since its closure last December. McCalister recalls. “I thought about trying to hop out of a window or something, but then I pictured myself telling my parents that I still didn’t have anything lined up for the summer. So I just put my headphones on and locked back in.”
Since that day, McCalister has been camping out in a variety of places around the library.
“It’s really not that bad. I sleep in a conference room most nights, and I don’t even have to reserve it! Also, it’s great just leaving my stuff everywhere without having to ask anyone to watch it while I go to the bathroom.” When pressed about the dangers of living in a supposedly mold-infested building, McCalister says it’s not an issue: “Honestly, still better hygiene conditions than the showers at Unit 3.”
However, McCalister’s lease may soon be up. Campus security has become increasingly suspicious about a presence in the library which has led to the set up of extra watches at night.
“We keep finding empty Celsius cans and hearing odd noises from the upper floors,” says Campus security officer Narc Smith. Fellow officer Harry Williams chimed in, saying: “We’re planning on patrolling the place at night. If someone is living here, we’ll find them. It goes against every UC Berkeley value to let students live so close to campus, for free, and we’re making this our top priority.”
But McCalister plans to stand his ground. “Give up a quiet, clean, empty study space? And free housing? Over my dead body.”
At press time, the standoff continues, and as construction will never conclude until after you graduate, the status of the library’s sole resident may remain a mystery.