BERKELEY, Calif – Since the closure of Moffitt (fan-favorite yapping spot and alleged “library”), students around campus have been forced to procrastinate literally everywhere elsewhere. …
Moffitt Removes Smoking Section
BERKELEY, Calif.– As part of his early plans to modernize campus grounds, Chancellor-elect Richard Lyons’ has announced the removal of Moffitt’s smoking section by Fall …
Kip’s Bouncer to Be Permanently Stationed Outside Moffitt to Prevent Underage Overeducation
BERKELEY, Calif. — “I’ll need to see some ID, please,” asserts Berkeley’s latest addition, Kip’s bouncer Chuck O’Hare. He stands brazen, shielding Moffitt Library’s main …
OPINION: Moffitt Seismic Upgrade to Accommodate the Tremors of My Thicc Ass
Recently, university staff have announced that Moffitt, the beloved school library and best place for crying before finals, will be closed for the Spring 2022 …
True Crime: I Put a Very Silly Hat on Top of Every Campus Building
I chase their dreams like a dog chasing cars. I put hats on top of each one. Silly hats. Absurd hats. Hell, I bet the Joker would call these “Normal Hats.” These are the buildings. Their hats are their stories.
Campus Libraries Ranked by How Cool Their New Vermin Overlords Are
Louie, the snake who does coke, lives here. I think he may have worked the desk pre-Covid? Anyway, he’s a slippery, legless asshole but he did invite me to his family’s lake house that one time.
Which Moffitt Floor Are You Based Off Of Your Plans For Cal Day?
What you decide to do for Cal Day says a lot about you, and so naturally, we at The Free Peach will be giving you a Moffitt Floor that correlates with your plans! Go Bears!
UC Berkeley Turns All Libraries Into Coffee Shops
The change comes after local coffee shop Sacks turned so anti-talking and anti-human interaction that Doe library started to sound like Pratt & Whitney F100 Turbofan jet engine in comparison.







