“We all know this feat takes ‘big balls’,” remarked UCSF testicular researcher Dr. Amadeus Wellington on Thundercock’s achievement. “But the age-old question remains — is there any correlation between crosswalk crossing time and penis size? Thanks to my team of UCSF’s top penisologists, that question is now answered.”
Savant Junior Who ‘Has a Lot of AP Credits’ and Is Graduating Early Crowned ‘World’s Smartest Man’
While a well-deserved victory and recognition of Biggs’ gargantuan achievements, the title isn’t an effortless one to bear — without continually letting all of his peers know his unit count and test scores, Biggs might risk losing his award.
Skip the Wait: Durant Taco Bell Introduces Ticketmaster Order Presales
“You just pick an order you might want weeks ahead and confirm your presale on Ticketmaster. There’s a 15% chance your order gets placed, and Ticketmaster only takes a portion worth double the meal price. It’s a steal, really.”
Confused Army Recruit Attends Wrong Boot Camp, Now in Twelve-Week Python Fundamentals Course
When Army recruit Jackaby Stonewall first walked through the doors of 415 Mission St. excited to be undervalued by the U.S. military and to complete Basic Combat Training — colloquially “Basic,” or “boot camp,” he had no idea he’d be building his ego, not his body.
Anticipating Strike, UC Proposes Last-Ditch Raise Based on 1940s Rent Prices
BERKELEY, Calif. – In a vote on Oct. 26 whose turnout shattered historical U.S. election records, almost 50,000 Academic Student Employees (ASEs) across the University …