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Posted on April 10, 2024April 10, 2024 by: ephiehauck

Psychology Breakthrough: Pavlov’s Dog Actually Just Hungry for Bells

BERKELEY, Calif. — While attending his eight-hour mandatory lab this past Friday, fourth-year psychology major Darren Barry made a discovery that has caused outrage in …

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Posted on April 9, 2024 by: Tohar Zamir

Media Studies URAP Involves Posting on Calfessions and r/berkeley

BERKELEY, Calif. – Responding to concerns about a paucity of available undergrad research positions, the College of Letters and Sciences has successfully opened a variety …

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Posted on April 8, 2024 by: Megha Joshi

OPINION: Wouldn’t It Be So Cool if We All Started a Friend Group? Haha

Everyone should be my friend but in a group. I’m a fun and cool person. I write for the Free Peach and I never mention …

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Posted on April 4, 2024 by: bennettfees

Student Who ‘Likes Rain’ Still Uses Umbrella 

BERKELEY, Calif. – Uproar ensued after Sara Wilson, an out-of-state student from Utah who proclaims they “like rain”, still used an umbrella following showers this …

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Posted on April 3, 2024 by: Tohar Zamir

Millennial Carded Despite Wearing Stupid Graphic Tee

SAN FRANCISCO — Jessica Swan, who recently moved to SF to join “X,” formerly known as Twitter, formerly a usable website, was shocked to discover …

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Posted on April 2, 2024 by: Ajay Madala

BART to Change Frequency to ‘Fuck You, it Just Left’

OAKLAND, Calif. – Facing a major financial crisis, Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) has continued its trend of decreasing frequency of service. While the first …

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Posted on March 28, 2024 by: sophiafingerman

On God: Cal Fraternity Throws Lent-Themed Rager

BERKELEY, Calif. – UC Berkeley’s Chapter of Theta Chi has been placed on probation by the university for throwing a “Lent” party this past weekend. …

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Posted on March 22, 2024 by: Sam Rogers

UC Berkeley to Offer People’s Park Shipping Containers as Temporary Luxury Condos

BERKELEY, Calif. – On Tuesday, Feb 12, UC Berkeley’s housing director, Glen DeGuzmann announced the school’s latest project, “The Wall,” temporarily offering luxury condos inside …

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Posted on March 20, 2024 by: The Free Peach

Inappropriate? CS Professor Makes ‘Do You Like-Like Me?’ Midterm Question Mandatory for Female Students

BERKELEY, Calif. – After making a sexist Ed post comment about “women’s behavior outside the Bay Area,” CS 189 professor Terry Smawldich doubled down by …

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Posted on March 19, 2024 by: chantelwhite

‘I’m Him,’ Says Straight Man Sharing Pronouns in Section

BERKELEY, Calif.— In a random stuffy classroom somewhere within Dwinelle, students in a RHETOR R1B section were restating identities for the class’s new project segment; …

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