BERKELEY, Calif. — UC Berkeley Chancellor Carol Christ shocked the student body this morning with her latest appearance on Sproul Plaza, during which it was …
In the Nick of Time: UCB WarnMe Alerts Students of the Eruption of Pompeii
BERKELEY, Calif. – Yesterday at 1:00 pm, the UCPD-integrated ‘UC Berkeley WarnMe’ announcement system alerted the campus community of the pressing and timely explosion of …
Opinion: If It’s the ‘Big Give,’ Why Isn’t it Giving?
I’d consider myself an expert on this, so I’ll say it: UC Berkeley’s “Big Give” just isn’t giving. Wandering campus daily to distract from …
Student Testimony: ‘Logging Econ Lectures on Letterboxd Changed My Life’
BERKELEY, Calif. – After avoiding in-person classes for weeks, student River Smith finally discovered a way to make his ECON 150 lectures more interesting: logging …
Kip’s Bouncer to Be Permanently Stationed Outside Moffitt to Prevent Underage Overeducation
BERKELEY, Calif. — “I’ll need to see some ID, please,” asserts Berkeley’s latest addition, Kip’s bouncer Chuck O’Hare. He stands brazen, shielding Moffitt Library’s main …
6 Tips on Basic Bus Etiquette Since Apparently, You Think the 51B is Your Personal Fucking Chauffeur
1. You and Your Friends Are Terribly Boring Refusing to move to the back of the bus because you want to stand in the aisle …
New Mitski Appreciation Club Just the Saddest Gay People You Know
BERKELEY, Calif. – Following the success of UC Berkeley’s Taylor Swift Appreciation Club, a group of the absolute most depressed, melancholy queer people on campus …
Berkeley Reverses Email Policy After Realizing They Need It to Solicit Donations
BERKELEY, Calif.– UC Berkeley administrative staff shocked hopeless undergraduates this afternoon by walking back their alumni email cancellation. Defending the decision, Berkeley spokesperson Janet Gilmore …
Top Religious Authorities Rule that Shabbat Electronics Ban Doesn’t Apply to IDF
JERUSALEM — In the midst of the IDF’s continued onslaught of Gazan civilians on Saturday, top religious authorities have found that bombing men, women, and …
Oh God, Guy on Ed Very Obviously a Reddit User
BERKELEY, Calif. – Hysteria arose amongst students in PUBPOL 101 when news broke that their peer Nick Beard was an active Reddit user, as determined …