BERKELEY, Calif. – Local sommelier and Chi Omega social chair, Michelle Klein, has discovered that one of the $3.99 bottles of Charles Shaw Shiraz purchased …
‘I’m Allergic to LaTeX,’ Says Student Who Only Uses Raw Data
BERKELEY, Calif. – As finals approach, students have inevitably flocked to citation managers and word processors to mock-up their final projects. However, despite a deluge …
BREAKING: UCDC Interns Who Also Lied On Resumes Stand in Solidarity with Santos
WASHINGTON — Hundreds of UCDC interns have gathered outside the Capitol building today to protest the expulsion of resume-fabricator role model Rep. George Santos. One …
Pope Admits He Could Kiss a Man, But Never Date One
VATICAN CITY –– For the first time in its centuries-old history, the Vatican’s top dog is leading the Roman Catholic Church in what some call …
Report: ‘Girl Dinner’ Also Trend in the Cannibal Community
TOWN FULL OF DARK AND STORMY NIGHTS – The viral phenomenon of “girl dinner” – meals typically consisting of randomly assembled portions of food – …
Honoring His Legacy: 11,000 Cluster Bombs to be Dropped on Henry Kissinger’s Body
HARTFORD, Conn. – Nobel Peace Prize recipient and carpet bomber of Laos and Cambodia, Henry Kissinger, has passed away at the early age of 100. …
LS 110: ‘Brilliance of Berkeley’ Exclusive New Course Syllabus Preview
To introduce new students to the extensive history and incredible accomplishments of UC Berkeley, the College of Letters and Science has introduced a new class …
Phallic Tower in SF Says a Lot About ‘Private Business’
SAN FRANCISCO – San Francisco’s financial district has seen drastic shifts in the past decade, shaved bare of community-oriented commerce now replaced with the endlessly …
Sad: Thanksgiving Dinner Not the Same Without Pet Turkey
LOS ANGELES, Calif. – Public opinion polling amongst your family has reaffirmed the sentiment that Thanksgiving this year is a drag without Repeckah, your beloved …
Asking “What Are Your Plans After College?” and Four Other Signs Your Family is TOXIC This Thanksgiving
Ah yes, you can hear the fire cracking over the familial chatter in the other room, and the spirit of giving and love is omnipresent …