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Tag: Nice Guy

Posted on December 15, 2022September 27, 2023 by: Maddie Heath

Lonely UC Berkeley Seal Just Wants a Hug, or Any Touch Really

As the semester comes to a close, the official UC Berkeley seal outside Moffitt has sadly reported it received no physical contact this past year and that students were actively avoiding it. Though ideally seeking a hug, the seal has stated that even being stepped on by a fresh Reebok would be a pleasurable alternative.

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Posted on December 12, 2022September 27, 2023 by: Brandon Cloud

Local Nice Guy Still Single After Sending Ten Girls a ‘Good Morning’ Group Text

“I lift seven days a week, hold the door open for people, and call women ‘women’ and not ‘females.'”

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