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Month: March 2019

Posted on March 7, 2019May 13, 2021 by: Ethan Schlatter

Reviewing Cal SERVE’s Executive Slate Based Only on their Photos

And by exhaustive and thorough, we mean we looked at their announcement photos and made up some shit that feels accurate.

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Posted on March 5, 2019May 13, 2021 by: The Free Peach

Plants Rights Activists Stage Disturbing Protest On Sproul

“Harvest Is Murder,” “Love Your Roots, Stop Eating Carrots,” and “Corn: America’s Most Exploited Worker.”

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Posted on March 5, 2019May 13, 2021 by: The Free Peach

The Bachelor Contestants If They Were Cal Students

Too bad none of them could get in.

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Posted on March 5, 2019May 12, 2021 by: Sam MacKinnon

The Bachelor Finale Drinking Game

Side effects may include but are not limited to: blacking out and alcohol poisoning.

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Posted on March 5, 2019March 5, 2019 by: The Free Peach

41 Facts About The ASUC

Wow! So many facts about the ASUC.

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Posted on March 4, 2019September 11, 2021 by: Sammy Cornick

23 Places Your Humanities GSI Will Be Holding Office Hours This Semester Because The School Didn’t Give Them A Proper Office, Silly

Wherever your Humanities GSI’s office may be, it doesn’t really matter because we all know you won’t be going to office hours anyway!

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Posted on March 1, 2019May 13, 2021 by: Sarah Cassell

Fuck It! We Ranked All The Sororities at Cal Alphabetically!

Let’s go!

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Posted on March 1, 2019May 12, 2021 by: Amanda Mier

Opinion: It’s Technically Only ‘Shackles and Champagne’ if They’re From the Champagne Region of France. Otherwise, You Have to Call Them Sparkling Wine and Zip Ties.

top being posers and drink some $2 prosecco, you cretins, while I spray myself with Dom, handcuff a chick with real, police grade cuffs, and bask in the glorious French sun.

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Posted on March 1, 2019May 13, 2021 by: The Free Peach

18 Things The Person Who Got Up In The Middle of Your Discussion Section is Actually Doing

Getting their tennis racquet restrung.

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