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Month: March 2019

Posted on March 15, 2019May 13, 2021 by: Ethan Schlatter

Newly #Woke Cal Freshman Has 18 Years Of White Guilt To Catch Up On

“Seriously, it’s so crazy. Did you know that America… is racist?”

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Posted on March 14, 2019February 6, 2020 by: Kelsey Ferrell

Idiots Use Outright Fraud To Get Into Yale Instead Of The Plethora Of Legal Loopholes

But the FBI recently released a report detailing what anyone could learn from literally a single episode of Gossip Girl: some people don’t earn their way to the top.

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Posted on March 13, 2019May 13, 2021 by: Daniel Menegaz

Wow! We Got Our Hands’ On Olivia Jade’s USC Application!

After her parents spent half a million dollars to buy her a spot at USC, it’s important to make her application transparent!

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Posted on March 12, 2019May 13, 2021 by: The Free Peach

38 Better Names For Cafe Think

Cafe Definitely, I Ran the Numbers

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Posted on March 11, 2019December 2, 2022 by: The Free Peach

I’ll Tell You Where You Should Go For Spring Break, But Only If You Help Me Out Of This Little Hole

I’d be totally down to tell you where to go for spring break, but I need you to help me out of this tiny, dirty hole. Sound good?

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Posted on March 11, 2019May 13, 2021 by: The Free Peach

Spaghetti Is The Worst Noodle And This Is Why (by Cal Dining)

The Following Argument is completely unbiased and objective.

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Posted on March 11, 2019September 11, 2021 by: Sammy Cornick

Top Four Places To Send Refugees From Florida Once Everything Fucking Floods

Because climate change isn’t real, right?

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Posted on March 8, 2019February 6, 2020 by: Kelsey Ferrell

Mandela Effect Case Study: Didn’t UC Berkeley Use To Be Cool?

Is anyone else freaking out about this?

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Posted on March 7, 2019May 12, 2021 by: Amanda Mier

Cal Sorority Girls Rush to Contract Norovirus in Time for Coachella

Go forth and enjoy, Bears! Use our promo codes HITMYJUUL and MAKEOUTWITHASTRANGER for a Norovirus discount this spring!

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Posted on March 7, 2019May 13, 2021 by: Ethan Schlatter

Reviewing Student Action’s Executive Slate Based Only on their Photos

If you don’t agree with our assessment, we guess you could actually read into the candidate’s platforms, but that seems like overkill.

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Top Posts & Pages

  • OPINION: Boy Riding Bike With No Hands is Very Cool
    OPINION: Boy Riding Bike With No Hands is Very Cool
  • Opinion: Everyone Get Off Eduroam, I’m Trying to Play Clash of Clans
    Opinion: Everyone Get Off Eduroam, I’m Trying to Play Clash of Clans
  • Feminism WIN! I Am The Emotionally Unavailable One In The Situationship
    Feminism WIN! I Am The Emotionally Unavailable One In The Situationship
  • Cut DKE Some Slack. I Fucked A Goat and it Wasn’t That Bad (by George Clooney)
    Cut DKE Some Slack. I Fucked A Goat and it Wasn’t That Bad (by George Clooney)
  • Checkmate, Liberals: If I Have 'White Privilege,' Why Does Nobody Like Me?
    Checkmate, Liberals: If I Have 'White Privilege,' Why Does Nobody Like Me?
  • Student Can Pay Attention to Two Hour Riverdale Video Essay but Not Her Sociology Lecture
    Student Can Pay Attention to Two Hour Riverdale Video Essay but Not Her Sociology Lecture
  • Iran Threatens Drone Strike Over Timothée Chalamet Remarks
    Iran Threatens Drone Strike Over Timothée Chalamet Remarks
  • Opinion: It’s Technically Only ‘Shackles and Champagne’ if They’re From the Champagne Region of France. Otherwise, You Have to Call Them Sparkling Wine and Zip Ties.
    Opinion: It’s Technically Only ‘Shackles and Champagne’ if They’re From the Champagne Region of France. Otherwise, You Have to Call Them Sparkling Wine and Zip Ties.
  • 14 Things That Would Definitely Happen To Berkeley In The Case Of A Bay Area Earthquake
    14 Things That Would Definitely Happen To Berkeley In The Case Of A Bay Area Earthquake
  • Pussy-Ass Students Still Want Mental Health Support for In-Person Instruction
    Pussy-Ass Students Still Want Mental Health Support for In-Person Instruction

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