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Posted on February 2, 2023February 3, 2023 by: Abby Fisher

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Month: January 2021

Posted on January 30, 2021May 15, 2021 by: Abby Fisher

Berkeley Acapella Groups Eager for In-Person Fall 2021 So They Can Finally Return to Being Ignored on Sproul

fter plans for an in-person Fall 2021 semester were announced, acapella groups across UC Berkeley rejoiced at the prospect of once again being able to perform for, and be overlooked by, the masses on Sproul Plaza.

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Posted on January 29, 2021September 11, 2021 by: Sammy Cornick

Successful First Day of Class! Wealth & Poverty Student Takes Perfect Picture of Professor Reich for Instagram Story

While the Instagram story post was ultimately a success, Ryan explains that the journey to that perfection was a bumpy road. Although the image of Reich could be clearly seen, the bottom text displaying his name was blurry, as his iPhone camera failed to focus property.

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Posted on January 28, 2021September 11, 2021 by: anniebushh

Liberal Arts Graduate, Of Sound Mind and Body, Drinks a Glass of Dairy Milk (More to Follow)

“Adam, my sweet baby called, and… and… he said that he was drinking a glass of cow’s milk. At first I couldn’t believe it. I made him repeat it again. ‘COWS milk, you say?’ I whispered. ‘A whole glass?’ How could one be so cavalier about discussing their deplorable vices? While talking to their own MOTHER?”

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Posted on January 27, 2021May 5, 2021 by: Shane Pauker

UC President Michael Drake Intends for Fully In-Person Kicking Your Ass

“I was a professor of ophthalmology for decades, so I can guarantee: all you’re gonna see is hands.”

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Posted on January 26, 2021May 6, 2021 by: Tyler Goldstein

Chancellor Christ Declares She is The Academic Senate

BERKELEY, Calif. — In a shocking power move, Chancellor Christ has proclaimed that she is the Academic Senate.  “Frankly, the senate is in shambles at …

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