WASHINGTON – Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, the self-described first Hispanic Asian-American in Congress, is under heat for asking Supreme Court nominee Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson whether babies are racist. 

“Honestly, it just shows how sutured in a white supremacist bubble Cruz is. Of course, babies are racist,” Cal Berkeley Democrats member Brian Smith noted. “There’s literally only one page to the book and it says ‘you’re racist for only drinking white milk.’ Does Cruz literally have any reading comprehension? Literally none of the babies I’ve met have posted a black square in solidarity with Black Lives Matter and I only know one who Instagram liked my Ukraine infographic on Canva.” 

Notable leftists have rallied behind this cause and stood in agreement with Jackson.

“Using ‘I wasn’t alive’ as an excuse is honestly just victim-blaming and it’s not an acceptable response anymore. Babies need to be held accountable,” explained leftist streamer Vaush in an exclusive after yesterday’s confirmation hearing. “From 0 to 18 months, there has never been a baby who has spoken out. It’s always ‘mama’ ‘papa’ or ‘boob’  but never  ‘The creation of the United States is founded upon systematic anti-blackness and settler-colonial violence. Blackness and indigeneity are in ontological opposition to whiteness, a binarist logic that desires racist violence and sustains civil society.’”

At press time, hordes of babies across the nation were seen flaunting their ignorance of basic human decency and where Mom goes during peek-a-boo.


Photo by Steve Paine.

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