CUPERTINO, Calif. – GenSite, a new social media app created by two recent Berkeley alumni, has overtaken Facebook in number of app store downloads; leading tech experts to call it the next big social media app that will transform from a slightly new way to post pictures of your spring break trip to Barcelona to a literal weapon of disinformation and propaganda that will destroy basic human rights around the world.
“It’s a no-brainer,” said tech writer and white guy who made a blog about how he taught English in South Korea, Steve Samson. “GenSite has everything that made Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram popular in their respective eras but also has something new to offer. I can easily see it in three years growing to become our main mode of communication. Then, five years after that, it’ll be used radicalize and militarize people by far-right paramilitary forces in a non-white country. There’s just so much potential.” Samson continued.
Like all great Silicon Valley success stories, GenSite had humble beginnings in a UC Berkeley Blackwell freshman dorm.
“Clarence was my roommate first year and as soon as we met, we knew we were going to make something great together,” said co-founder Neeraj Reddy. “We were both EECS majors so we never left our dorms but then also wallowed in self pity because we were lonely. And that’s where GenSite began, to connect people in the modern age. Of course, it was originally more for incels like us to complain about how women wouldn’t fuck us but we’ll pretend we have any semblance of morality when we become so big that we have to pretend we regulate content.”
Co-founder Clarence Thomas (no relation) spoke of the current and future state of the company:
“We’re so proud of how far we’ve come. Who would have thought that the days of skipping our required EECS ethics classes to work on GenSite would lead us to getting this big. I think the secret to our success was cutting excess when necessary. For example, we don’t pay our workers, but that’s okay because we’re young so working excessively long hours is cool and quirky rather than literal labor exploitation. And then when we become big enough for that to actually matter, we’ll censor all those posts on our app so no one can hear about it.”
Reddy added to Thomas’s point about fiscal responsibility: “We also save money by not spending anything on monitoring posts, which will slowly snowball into breeding fascist communities on our app that will irrevocably taint the minds of generations, inspiring them to commit violence all across the world and inevitably the end of society. Ignoring all of that, we’re just excited to one day have a global reach.”
At press time, the far-right GenSite group that will inevitably balloon into a massive authoritarian regime in a post-colonial country was created by user metallicanostalgia69.