Skip to content

The Free Peach

Everything Your Relatives Fear About Berkeley

Posted on March 25, 2023March 26, 2023 by: Kelsey Ferrell

‘Ryanair Is SO Cheap’ and 2 Other Ways to Act Like Your Spring Break in Europe Hasn’t Put You in Financial Ruin

  • Home
  • Berkeley
  • Local News
  • Quizzes
  • The Pit
  • Join Us!
  • Masthead
  • Contact

Author: Kelsey Ferrell

Posted on April 24, 2020April 24, 2020 by: Kelsey Ferrell

Woman’s Yeast Infection Repurposed for Sourdough Starter

FULLERTON, Calif.— Fullerton resident Jeanine Woodrow recently repurposed her pesky yeast infection to create a sourdough starter during the statewide shelter in place mandate.  “I …

Continue Reading
Posted on April 3, 2020October 7, 2021 by: Kelsey Ferrell

Carol Christ Consults Ouija Board to Make Decision About Graduation

BERKELEY, Calif.— Chancellor Carol Christ of the University of California, Berkeley, recently consulted a ouija board to make a decision about the institution’s upcoming graduation …

Continue Reading
Posted on February 15, 2020 by: Kelsey Ferrell

Berkeley’s Most Eligible Bachelors: Valentine’s Day Edition

It’s Valentine’s Day and here at The Free Peach we could think of no better way to celebrate than to showcase Berkeley’s most eligible bachelors. …

Continue Reading
Posted on February 3, 2020February 5, 2020 by: Kelsey Ferrell

Batteries from iClicker Relocated to Vibrator

On Friday, January 31st, UC Berkeley student Dana Howells relocated the batteries from her iClicker 2.0 to her vibrator, a move that has earned her …

Continue Reading
Posted on December 13, 2019May 13, 2021 by: Kelsey Ferrell

Report: Two-Thirds of Roommates Hitting Breaking Point

Two-thirds of all roommates at the University of California, Berkeley, are hitting their breaking point as of this Thursday. 

Continue Reading
Posted on November 20, 2019May 13, 2021 by: Kelsey Ferrell

5 Reasons Why Count Olaf Was a Marxist

Don’t let the capitalist propaganda fool you! Count Olaf was no villain. He was simply a Marxist trying to redistribute capital from a nepotistic family to less fortunate often overlooked communities.

Continue Reading
Posted on November 14, 2019May 13, 2021 by: Kelsey Ferrell

Beauty Routine Includes Wearing a Lanyard Like a Lost Freshman to Stay Youthful

I’ve tried countless anti-aging serums, under-eye creams, and even botox. But nothing has ever made me appear so youthful as wearing a lanyard like a lost Berkeley freshman!

Continue Reading
Posted on November 11, 2019May 13, 2021 by: Kelsey Ferrell

Miracles Happen: Assignment Completed Early

We at The Free Peach would like to mention that these events happened last week, not this week.

Continue Reading
Posted on October 30, 2019May 13, 2021 by: Kelsey Ferrell

Cal Fraternity Brother Unknowingly The Typhoid Mary of HPV

“If I had an STD, I would know it,” said Hawthorne. “It’s not like STDs are some invisible cancer you can accidentally give to other people.”

Continue Reading
Posted on October 17, 2019May 13, 2021 by: Kelsey Ferrell

Was That The Hayward Fault, Or Is Your Roommate Boning Someone In The Top Bunk Again?

Could this be “the Big one”? But then you remembered that your roommate in the top bunk is a total floozy.

Continue Reading

Posts navigation

1 2 3

Search

Top Posts & Pages

  • Opinion: It’s Technically Only ‘Shackles and Champagne’ if They’re From the Champagne Region of France. Otherwise, You Have to Call Them Sparkling Wine and Zip Ties.
    Opinion: It’s Technically Only ‘Shackles and Champagne’ if They’re From the Champagne Region of France. Otherwise, You Have to Call Them Sparkling Wine and Zip Ties.
  • Report: Arnold's Death On The Magic School Bus Is Responsible For Every Single Teenage & Young Adult Problem
    Report: Arnold's Death On The Magic School Bus Is Responsible For Every Single Teenage & Young Adult Problem
  • Frank Ocean Emerges From Hiatus to Clarify That He Was Referring to Berkeley City College in Infamous "Novacane" Lyric
    Frank Ocean Emerges From Hiatus to Clarify That He Was Referring to Berkeley City College in Infamous "Novacane" Lyric
  • Danger Alert: This DKE Member Just Called You ‘The GOAT’
    Danger Alert: This DKE Member Just Called You ‘The GOAT’
  • Please Don't Read This, I'm Too Shy
    Please Don't Read This, I'm Too Shy
  • Alvin, Of “Chipmunks” Fame, Dead of Fentanyl Overdose
    Alvin, Of “Chipmunks” Fame, Dead of Fentanyl Overdose
  • The Disgusting Truth: bCourses Confetti From Assignment Submission Not Compostable
    The Disgusting Truth: bCourses Confetti From Assignment Submission Not Compostable
  • Berkeley Student Unable to Enroll in Happiness Until Phase 2
    Berkeley Student Unable to Enroll in Happiness Until Phase 2
  • Campus Curbs Spread of Misinformation by Simply Not Providing Any Information
    Campus Curbs Spread of Misinformation by Simply Not Providing Any Information
  • OPINION: Wait, Did WALL-E Ever Fuck That Sexy Little Robot Eve?
    OPINION: Wait, Did WALL-E Ever Fuck That Sexy Little Robot Eve?

Our Facebook

Our Facebook
Copyright © 2023 The Free Peach All Rights Reserved | Magpaper by Theme Palace
 

Loading Comments...