FULLERTON, Calif.— Fullerton resident Jeanine Woodrow recently repurposed her pesky yeast infection to create a sourdough starter during the statewide shelter in place mandate. “I …
Carol Christ Consults Ouija Board to Make Decision About Graduation
BERKELEY, Calif.— Chancellor Carol Christ of the University of California, Berkeley, recently consulted a ouija board to make a decision about the institution’s upcoming graduation …
Berkeley’s Most Eligible Bachelors: Valentine’s Day Edition
It’s Valentine’s Day and here at The Free Peach we could think of no better way to celebrate than to showcase Berkeley’s most eligible bachelors. …
Batteries from iClicker Relocated to Vibrator
On Friday, January 31st, UC Berkeley student Dana Howells relocated the batteries from her iClicker 2.0 to her vibrator, a move that has earned her …
Report: Two-Thirds of Roommates Hitting Breaking Point
Two-thirds of all roommates at the University of California, Berkeley, are hitting their breaking point as of this Thursday.
5 Reasons Why Count Olaf Was a Marxist
Don’t let the capitalist propaganda fool you! Count Olaf was no villain. He was simply a Marxist trying to redistribute capital from a nepotistic family to less fortunate often overlooked communities.
Beauty Routine Includes Wearing a Lanyard Like a Lost Freshman to Stay Youthful
I’ve tried countless anti-aging serums, under-eye creams, and even botox. But nothing has ever made me appear so youthful as wearing a lanyard like a lost Berkeley freshman!
Miracles Happen: Assignment Completed Early
We at The Free Peach would like to mention that these events happened last week, not this week.
Cal Fraternity Brother Unknowingly The Typhoid Mary of HPV
“If I had an STD, I would know it,” said Hawthorne. “It’s not like STDs are some invisible cancer you can accidentally give to other people.”
Was That The Hayward Fault, Or Is Your Roommate Boning Someone In The Top Bunk Again?
Could this be “the Big one”? But then you remembered that your roommate in the top bunk is a total floozy.