As soon as they arrive on campus, Berkeley freshmen adorn their faces with a pair of Berkeley goggles. Berkeley goggles are a visual enhancement feature unique to Cal, designed to elevate the perceived attractiveness of one’s peers.
Every time I’m with a man, he tells me that he loves playing with my boobs or that my butt is perfect. I’m so tired of not being valued for more. Why can’t they compliment me for my left labia?
I know that UC Berkeley has done poorly in football in the past, so this new trend of “winning” is confusing new territory for everybody on staff.
Straws revolutionized the way that people experienced drinking, and soon we couldn’t get enough of the sensation. We suck on straws, cigarettes, dicks, lollipops, and whatever else we can.
In the midst of a recent outbreak of California oak moth caterpillars on the campus of the University of California, Berkeley, ASUC Senator Milton Zerman has proposed action to keep the caterpillars separated from the student body.
In anticipation of this Saturday’s game day, the University of California, Berkeley has purchased the Alta Bates Summit Medical Center as a new dorm for alcohol poisoned teens.
According to Braverman, the two have “grown apart” due to the distance and are in “two completely different stages of life.” Jenkins, after all, is a high school volleyball player, while Braverman is simply a player.
I’m waiting, Milton. What do you have to say for yourself?
But the FBI recently released a report detailing what anyone could learn from literally a single episode of Gossip Girl: some people don’t earn their way to the top.
Is anyone else freaking out about this?