BERKELEY, Calif. — As some young lovebirds were enjoying their sickenly-sweet Valentine’s Day, several Instagram users had their love tested upon discovering that acquaintances they …
Professor Spends Another Valentine’s Day Alone in Office Hours
BERKELEY, Calif.— As his clock struck 5:30 PM without a single student entering, Professor Milton Keyton concluded yet another completely empty office hours, only to …
NBA Super Star? My Ex Sets a Rebound Record
BERKELEY, Calif. — In a turn of events that has left statisticians scrambling for their calculators, sophomore Duncan Dribblen has officially shattered the world record …
CalCentral Places Affectionate Hold on Accounts Just in Time for Valentine’s Day
BERKELEY, Calif. — In a romantic gesture that has stirred hearts across UC Berkeley, the campus’s online administrative portal, CalCentral, has begun placing “affectionate holds” …
BREAKING: Milky Way Galaxy Equilibrium Disrupted After I Gave My Girlfriend The Entire World for Valentine’s Day
Earth inhabitants awoke this Tuesday morning to views of asteroids and an eerie darkness outside their windows. Though the physical planet remained intact, it was clear that Earth no longer existed in the Milky Way Galaxy. Where did it go? The hands of my beautiful girlfriend.
Berkeley’s Most Eligible Bachelors: Valentine’s Day Edition
It’s Valentine’s Day and here at The Free Peach we could think of no better way to celebrate than to showcase Berkeley’s most eligible bachelors. …
Local Man’s Kink for Emotional Negligence Tearing Relationship Apart
“The second you said you loved me I got, like, super turned off.”
Couple Hooking Up for 8 Months That Has Yet to Define Their Relationship Plans to Celebrate Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day is here, and all over UC Berkeley love is in the air, which is a refreshing change of pace from the smoke or the lingering sensation that you’re not good enough.