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Month: October 2019

Posted on October 21, 2019September 11, 2021 by: Sammy Cornick

Opinion: I Refuse to be Bullied for my Chunky White Filas

Some claim that the size of our sneaker is an overcompensation for qualities we lack elsewhere, yet this could not lean further from the truth. If anything, the weight of our Filas make us even more grounded than ever before

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Posted on October 19, 2019May 19, 2021 by: Cloe Wood

Mid-October Horoscopes

Yo party people, it’s mid October and you know what that means!! The stars have been gossiping and The Free Peach has the inside scoop.

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Posted on October 18, 2019May 14, 2021 by: Vasiliki Koutsoulis

Berkeley RA Under Fire for Confiscating Student’s Emotional Support Bong

Blood tests taken when Strawberry-Fields filed the police report confirmed that she was, in fact, couched as her Blood Marijuana Content was 42.0%.

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Posted on October 17, 2019May 13, 2021 by: Kelsey Ferrell

Was That The Hayward Fault, Or Is Your Roommate Boning Someone In The Top Bunk Again?

Could this be “the Big one”? But then you remembered that your roommate in the top bunk is a total floozy.

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Posted on October 11, 2019October 11, 2019 by: Daniel Menegaz

My 5th grader hates me because I’m a Classic Yellow Wood-Cased Ticonderoga No.2 Pencil and not a Paper Mate Clearpoint Mechanical Pencil :(

My owner’s name is Billy! He is a 5th grader at Newbury Park Elementary School and he loves drawing and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches …

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Posted on October 9, 2019September 11, 2021 by: Sam MacKinnon

Black Out for the Black Out: A PG&E Inspired Drinking Game

Hey fuckers! There are no classes tomorrow, so let’s do what any responsible Golden Bear should: drink! Here’s a great drinking game that allows you to fully participate in UC Berkeley’s binge culture while celebrating the incompetence of PG&E. 

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Posted on October 9, 2019May 13, 2021 by: Kelsey Ferrell

Berkeley Goggles Upgraded to Blindfold

As soon as they arrive on campus, Berkeley freshmen adorn their faces with a pair of Berkeley goggles. Berkeley goggles are a visual enhancement feature unique to Cal, designed to elevate the perceived attractiveness of one’s peers.

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Posted on October 4, 2019May 12, 2021 by: Amanda Mier

5 Ways to Recover from a Drunk Text

So you woke up this morning, refreshed and ready for a new dawn, only to find that you texted your crush “Come find me, big boy” at 2 am…with no response.

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Posted on October 4, 2019October 7, 2021 by: Cloe Wood

The Star Signs as Spoons

Astrology? More like astrolog-eats, am I right? Ha ha. What spoon are you, based on the day of your birth?? Only the stars—and this Free …

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Posted on October 3, 2019September 11, 2021 by: Lily Green

“How Can Medieval Knights Continue Making The Same Tactical Blunders And Expect Different Outcomes?” Says Poli Sci Student Texting Ex During Lecture

Making the same silly mistakes over and over again without ever learning or changing. I would never do something so stupid.  

Anyway, today I texted Brad.

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