In an unexpected display of solidarity, Eduroam has spoken out in support of students overwhelmed by the post-pandemic social landscape.

“I just really don’t know what I’m doing and I’m tired of pretending I do,” announced Eduroam in a campus-wide notification, its router light blinking nervously. “Like, there’s all these new people on campus and I only can take so much. Who should I connect with? Who shouldn’t I?”

Within hours of the brave announcement, hundreds of students across multiple disciplines have responded with agreement.

“I already feel burnt out from social interaction. I feel like I’m always expected to be ‘on’,” lamented Pre-Haas freshman Sophie Porcher, “but that’s not a reasonable expectation to put on me, so it would be hypocritical to expect the same of Eduroam and Airbears.” 

Other students shared similar sentiments, citing events like club recruitment as stressors to their social bandwidth.

“I can’t even imagine having to connect with tens of thousands of students. So, kudos to Eduroam,” spoke EECS senior Raul Meléndez, “I can barely manage 500 connections on LinkedIn.”

At press time, the Wi-Fi connection remains unstable. More updates to come via carrier pigeon.

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