BERKELEY, Calif. — In a flagrant act of self-contradiction, local hypocrite Cassandra Liu continued to inhale oxygen through her nose while making a complaint about Berkeley’s air quality.

“All these recent wildfires and climate change in general have increased particulate pollution in our air and boosted the likelihood of high-ozone episodes,” said Liu while taking long, lung-sized breaths of the very air she supposedly condemned. “For people like me who have asthma and are sensitive to fluctuations in air quality, this is a big deal. Reducing our fossil fuel emissions and shifting to alternative energy sources ASAP would go a long way towards cleaning our air and making it more sustainable for all of us.”

The people of Berkeley aren’t putting up with Cassandra’s bullshit.

“You claim to hate the air, yet you continue to breathe it. Curious,” said legendary rhetorician and TPUSA poster boy Shen Bapiro.

“I have cousins who died fighting for this air,” tweeted proud 2003 Hummer H2 owner Daniel Mathers. “I will respect their memory by pumping out as much CO2 as I goddamn please, thank you very much #American #Patriot.”

In other news, freshman Carl Derby has engaged in similar hypocrisy by continuing to attend UC Berkeley after complaining about how shitty his classes are.


Photo by Alexandr Podvalny from Pexels

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