BERKELEY, Calif. – According to a recent report from the online random number generator known as Best Random Number Generator, “3.”

“3,” Best Random Number Generator declared in an official statement last Friday. The report marks a notable shift from Best Random Number Generator’s previous statements: “12,” “46,” and “7.” 

Many have reacted positively to Best Random Number Generator’s new assessment.

“3,” the Campanile clock enthusiastically agreed at 3:00 PM on Friday. The Campanile carillon bells, the sequel to Despicable Me 2, the bones in a human ear, the colors in the U.S. flag, the trimesters of human pregnancy, the Pyramids of Giza, and Marc Fisher’s Bacon Number have each released similar opinions that express support for Best Random Number Generator’s announcement.

However, Best Random Number Generator’s report has not been without controversy.

“2048,” dissented the popular mobile game 2048. “4096. 1024. 64. 8. 4. 4. 2. 2. 2. Game Over!”

“61,” the Apple Weather app expressed in another conflicting opinion. The assessment was followed by the assertions, “Partly Cloudy,” “Low Air Quality,” and “High Humidity.”

Perhaps the most withering rejection of Best Random Number Generator’s views came from the random number generator known as Official Random Number Generator, which announced: “34. 89. 103. 45. 566. 123! 223! 32,435! 666!! 43!!! 8!!! 69!!! 420!!!! 9,001,021,243,604!!!!!! [CENSORED]!!!! [CENSORED]!!!!!!!! [CENSORED]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 

[Editor’s Note: To respect the sensitivities of our readers, we have elected not to publish the rest of Official Random Number Generator’s statement. The full statement can be found here. Reader discretion is advised.]

In response to the criticisms, Best Random Number Generator has tripled down on its statements.

“3. 3. 3.” Best Random Number Generator reiterated. In a completely unrelated statement, the “Lower Bound” and “Upper Bound” on Best Random Number Generator’s webpage both reported “3.”

At press time, the Campanile Clock, apparently influenced by Best Random Number Generator’s detractors, had changed its mind to “4.”

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