BERKELEY, Calif – As the fall semester reaches its end and final project deadlines arrive, an annual trend emerges: high-achieving Math majors are suddenly getting more attention on dating apps. According to recent surveys, math students are enjoying a late-semester surge in what they call “attention from potential mates.”
Christina Alzeebra, a fourth-year math major, says she’s enjoying the shift in attention but notes that it’s odd that every date involved conversations that had nothing to do with her hobbies, and everything to do with her stochastic calculus expertise.
“It’s kind of interesting. When they want to meet up, they’re not interested in hearing about my Magic & Monster collectible cards or my theory that Chancellor Palpatine, not Jar-Jar, is canonically a Sith Lord. Instead, they’re asking questions like, ‘Can I see your lecture notes from last week?’ or ‘How do you solve this problem set?’ But hey, I’m not complaining– it’s amazing that so many hotties are passionate about math.”
Josh Matha, a third-year whose profile unabashedly lists “Linear Algebra Enthusiast” and “Funko Pop Collector” as his hobbies, explained his elation at the trend.
“I can’t remember the last time I shaved, let alone the last time I went on a date, so the fact that so many girls are suddenly asking me out feels surreal. But statistically speaking, it was only a matter of time. My algorithm reveals that months of consistent rose gifting + a manly neckbeard + insightful prompt answers = payoff.”
Hinge data reveals that many of the top-performing prompts on the app have taken an unexpected academic turn. Some of the record-breaking responses for most-liked responses include: “Most spontaneous thing I’ve done… Gone to my professor’s office hours and discussed the limits of integration for two hours” and “My most controversial opinion… The first element of indexing should start at one instead of zero.”
But it’s not just the intellectual curiosity of potential matches that’s caught the attention of these math majors. Matha’s most recent date, Sammy Dogshitatcalc, described him as “the human representation of potato salad,” but nonetheless added, “passing CS 70 requires sacrifice. And honestly, I kinda dig his whole basement-dweller vibe.”
For now, both Matha and Alzeebra plan to bask in their newfound popularity by continuing to make math puns and give unsolicited dating advice to underclassmen.