While not a professional yapper myself, I do dabble in endeavors like these, where I write on Instagram for attention, so I feel qualified enough …
Project Partner Sends When2Meet to Decide When to Send the When2Meet
BERKELEY, Calif. – In a thrilling display of productivity fit for an unpaid internship at Tesla, sophomore Nein Tofive sent his unsuspecting CS project partner …
OPINION: I Can Fix Him, but Can Anyone Fix Me?
I’m a cracked UC Berkeley woman in STEM, so I never back away from a challenge, whether it’s gardening, crocheting, or explaining to a 6-foot …
“Berkeley Goggles,” Proclaims Sad Little Man About Aphrodite
BERKELEY, Calif. – Like most men of his age and maturity level, yet another Linguini-looking Diet Coke-addicted man who refuses to use soap to “save …
Professional Yapper in 600-Person Lecture Really Needs to Learn What Office Hours Are
BERKELEY, Calif. – On a bright, early morning in Wheeler 150, Erm Actshually, a bright-eyed first-year student with too much 8-dollar Qargo coffee in his …
“Can You Just Watch My Stuff Real Quick?” Asks Student in Library Before Getting a Colonoscopy
BERKELEY, Calif. – Five random strangers in Berkeley’s new 24-hour library affectionately called “Doe” were appalled this evening after Defe Cayshun, a fifth-year senior whose …
IT’S OVER: Someone Sat in My Unassigned Seat
It was a beautiful morning. I was greeted by the sounds of the birds chirping, my alarm blaring the Kars 4 Kids song, and my …
Continuing the Halloween Spirit? Project Partner Still Ghosting You
BERKELEY, Calif. – Trick-or-treaters and rave-goers alike were shocked at the stunning dedication to Halloween that occurred today on campus, ranging from the furry club …
UC Berkeley Ranked #1 Public University Again Despite You Specifically
BERKELEY, Calif. – Shockingly, a separate group of old white dudes has made a separate decision to rank UC Berkeley as the top public university. …
Yay! I Dragged Myself Out Into Nature Just to Be on My Phone the Whole Time
Just after classes were finishing and the beautiful sunset swathed campus into a golden hour glow, I found myself serendipitously exploring the natural areas of …