WASHINGTON — Hundreds of UCDC interns have gathered outside the Capitol building today to protest the expulsion of resume-fabricator role model Rep. George Santos. One …
‘Business Business Business,’ Says Wall Street Journal About Something, Probably
NEW YORK CITY – After a series of major shocks involving stocks and banks, financial news outlets are declaring that things have happened with money …
Serial Liar Ex-President Claims He Will Face Consequences for His Crimes
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In yet another bald-faced lie, former U.S. President Donald J. Trump claimed he would be arrested on Tuesday despite his decades-long track …
“America is in a Truly Dark Place Right Now” says Political Pundit at Night
“Jeff is right on the money for a variety of reasons,” explained fellow Fox News host and manslaughter suspect Sally Stabs. “People need to understand that when you can’t directly see an object, it no longer exists. The liberal lamestream media is once again trying to act like the world is more complex than that. Honestly, this is why Republicans keep winning, because we know that the average person doesn’t believe in this hippy nonsense of the earth rotating or New York State homicide laws or whatever. Big light in sky go bye bye so that means it goes bye bye forever and we should all panic and pay Elon Musk to fix it with SpaceX.”
Oh No: Due to Decades of Severe Gerrymandering, This Congressman is Now Shaped Like Chile
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Decades of intense gerrymandering have taken their toll on Congressman Rutherford Bates Lee (R-VA), whose body now resembles the Republic of Chile. …
A Failure of the Justice System: Turkey Pardoned by Biden Murders Twelve
“In my thirty-five years of committing horrific injustices, I have never seen an injustice this horrific,” opined Police Chief Rubnock P. Postlethwaite of Brook County, South Dakota (which is hundreds of miles away from Washington D.C. and has no connection to the mass homicide incident). “Honestly, my heart goes out to the families. No turkey should be allowed to go around murdering civilians like that. That’s the job of trained law enforcement.”