BERKELEY, Calif. – While most residents of Berkeley use the Downtown Berkeley BART station to commute to and from the city, little special snowflake and …
BART to Change Frequency to ‘Fuck You, it Just Left’
OAKLAND, Calif. – Facing a major financial crisis, Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) has continued its trend of decreasing frequency of service. While the first …
BART Unveils New Plan to Prevent Turnstile Hoppers Through Use of Fearsome Troll
BERKELEY, Calif. – On January 11th, 2024, BART announced a new plan to thwart pesky turnstile hoppers through the employment of a blood-curdling, spine-chilling troll …
REPORT: Midnight Train Going Anywhere Headed to Millbrae/SFO
“Don’t Stop Believing,” Journey’s seminal, ‘80s anthem, has long stupefied the world of music scholarship with the cryptic midnight train going anywhere. However, researchers at the University of California, Berkeley have, through a grueling investigation, determined that anywhere is actually Millbrae/SFO.
BART Announces New Dark Yellow Line Between My Fly and the Urinal
BERKELEY, Calif. – This weekend Bay Area Rapid Transit published blueprints for a new railway to supplement the five existing routes. Christened the “Dark Yellow” …