BERKELEY, Calif.– In a recent public appearance, the Berkeley Transportation Committee finally explained that they chose to stop crosswalk signs from working at night because “it adds some risky fun that makes us feel alive on this tiny rock floating in space.”
Dog on Glade Unaware He’s Only Source of Meaning in My Life
BERKELEY, Calif. — Amid finals, local terrier Toaster Sanchez has become the only source of meaning in life for many students. “I hate my major, …
God Confirms He Isn’t Dead, Just Went Out for Milk
In spite of God’s literal, physical manifestation on Sproul, many of His doubters remain unconvinced of his existence.
“If God is real,” began renowned logician and meme inventor Dickhard Rawskins, “why hasn’t he given me the Limited Edition Ultra Rare Pyrus Bakugan I’ve been praying for since third grade? He didn’t give it to me then, and he isn’t giving it to me now, so clearly he is either not real, or a real bitch.”
OPINION: Holy Shit, This Guy Fucks: Professor Mentions His Kid
Ew. What?
He’s definitely trying to humblebrag about the fact that he’s had sex before, which is super off-putting. Why else would anyone think to mention their child — a byproduct of sexual interaction — in the middle of a sociology lecture? Who is he trying to impress? Probably not you, but there’s always a chance he has a breeding kink and is trying to gauge the fertility of the crowd. It’s not weird that you’re thinking about this, by the way. Something more inappropriate than thinking about sex during lecture is having the gall to mention a sex-adjacent topic during lecture.