We can’t read that well, but there sure are a lot of things we’d rather read than The Daily Cal.

  1. A pamphlet on STD prevention.
  2. The back of a Raisin Bran box.
  3. Reading for class.
  4. The terms & conditions for a radio contest you’re trying to sign up for. 
  5. Odyssey Online.
  6. Reading for class.
  7. Freud.
  8. The text my boyfriend sent to break up with me.
  9. No seriously, Brian, what did I do wrong?
  10. The Book of Mormon.
  11. “Sex On A Monday” and it’s just my roommate telling me about creepy guys she’s hooked up with.
  12. A dictionary.
  13. The whole menu at The Cheesecake Factory.
  14. Your parent’s divorce settlement.
  15. My high school essay for Honors English.
  16. The Facebook profile picture change a senate candidate does after losing and you know they had to write one even if they won or lost.
  17. The Daily Bruin.
  18. The Nutrition Facts on Takis.
  19. DKE’s Charter:
    1. DKE’s Charter but every time it says goat, you take a shot
  20. The transcript to the Bratz movie.
  21. My Grandma’s Facebook status.
  22. The CVS ExtraCare emails I get daily and can’t unsubscribe from for some reason.
  23. A long Instagram caption your friend from high school wrote explaining how she’s really found herself.
  24. A bottle of shampoo.
  25. Junie B. Jones.
  26. All the dialogue between characters in Red Dead Redemption.
  27. Instructions from IKEA on how to put together a dresser.
  28. A bowl of Alphabet Soup.
  29. A curse.
  30. The texts of the girl that sits in front of you in lecture and is always texting on her laptop and you can totally see what she’s saying, but usually, you’re polite and look away.
  31. Your GSI’s comments on a paper.
  32. A positive STD result.

That sure is a lot of things!

 

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