HELLICON VALLEY, Underworld — In response to plummeting gluttony and pride caused by high inflation, the Devil has released soul applications for graduating seniors.

“Tired of grinding for 80 hours a week under the dominion of your EECS professors? Looking for a new, more empathetic overlord?” the job listing asked. “Apply to Satan, Ic. today to join a hot, devilish, and dynamic team!” It clarified: “While this role may require you to collaborate with members of ICE, Palantir, or Microsoft, our work is managed by an ethics oversight committee that carefully considers the benefits and drawbacks of each quarterly goal.” The listing added, “Satan believes in full wage transparency: this role offers $195,000-$210,000 base pay, commensurate with experience.”

The posting has been extremely well-received by campus job seekers.

“I never thought I’d consider leasing my soul to the Devil,” said senior EECS major Brandon Jang. “But it’s definitely a step up from when I was working at Amazon this summer, in both morals and pay. Plus, Satan’s interview process is super chill — no 8-hour interview marathon days with half a dozen back-to-back interviews. You just have to prove that your sins have significantly harmed someone else, and my time writing software to optimize Amazon’s delivery scheduling has that covered.”

Current employee and Berkeley alum Madelyn Hatch highlighted the personal and professional benefits of leasing one’s soul at a recent recruiting info session:

“The perks are great and actually useful! Who needs nap pods when they’re soulless? We’re thriving with liquid fire coffee bars and free onsite therapy to counteract adverse effects of soul separation,” she said. “As far as equity goes, we may not get shares, but this 45-55 gender ratio is better than anything I ever saw as an engineer at Meta — and 15% of our staff identifies as BIPOC.”

Prospective applicants should take note that Satan, Ic. recently dropped the motto “Don’t Be Sinless,” as Google actually committed more sins than them in the last quarter.

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