BERKELEY, Calif. – While most residents of Berkeley use the Downtown Berkeley BART station to commute to and from the city, little special snowflake and …
The Free Peach Sues Instagram For Fucking Up Our Post Previews
One day of bullshit is already far more than we as a society should tolerate — that’s what the Dalai Lama told me in a …
DNC Cancels Jimmy Carter 2028 Presidential Campaign
WASHINGTON, D.C – After searching for a young, dynamic, and relatable candidate to be the new face of the Democratic party in the 2028 presidential …
“I Actually Don’t Have Any In-Person Finals,” Says Humanities Major Unprompted
BERKELEY, Calif. – While his peers spent most of RRR week cramming for their numerous high-stakes in-person final exams, comparative literature major and guy no …
What Your #1 Artist on Spotify Wrapped Says About You
LOS ANGELES – Following Spotify releasing users’ annual Spotify Wrappeds today, music experts from Pitchfork, Rolling Stone, and the deepest sweatiest corners of 4chan have …
“Did Someone Say Bonfire?” Asks White Childish Gambino Fan Too Enthusiastically
BERKELEY, Calif. – After overhearing his roommates talk about attending the pre-Big Game Bonfire Rally without him, White Childish Gambino fan and generally disliked student …
LEAKED: Memo Shows Trump’s Prospective Cabinet Picks
WASHINGTON, D.C. – With only two months to go before President-elect Donald Trump is inaugurated for his second term, he has begun to announce his …
The Free Peach’s 2024 Election Endorsements
BERKELEY, Calif. – With every election season, The Free Peach’s Editorial Board endorses candidates and measures relevant to its readers. Our endorsements rely on thorough …
Guy in Skimpy Costume Has His “Halloweenie” Out
BERKELEY, Calif. – In a brave display of borderline public nudity, Chi Psi brother Grant N’Pants wore a skimpy yet also somehow unrecognizable costume to …
UC Berkeley Ranked #1 Public University Again Despite You Specifically
BERKELEY, Calif. – Shockingly, a separate group of old white dudes has made a separate decision to rank UC Berkeley as the top public university. …