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Posted on April 30, 2026April 30, 2026 by: Shane Pauker

Report: If Your Child Doesn’t Know These Words by 6 Months, You Should Get Them Tested

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Author: Shane Pauker

Posted on May 1, 2020May 5, 2021 by: Shane Pauker

Admissions Board Releases the Kraken from the Waitlist

BERKELEY, Calif. – In a huge move for campus diversity, the UC Berkeley Admissions Board has opted to admit its first Pacific Oceaner student.  “Down, …

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Posted on April 22, 2020October 7, 2021 by: Shane Pauker

In Lieu of Tuition Relief, Carol Christ Offers Each Student an Otter Pop

  BERKELEY, Calif. – Recognizing the hefty price tag of an inadequate education, UC Berkeley Chancellor Carol Christ has announced an update to the university’s …

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Posted on April 22, 2020October 7, 2021 by: Shane Pauker

Amid Shortages, Kink Club Switches from Latex Gloves to Leather

BERKELEY, Calif. – Kink Club President Philip Cox laid out sweeping changes for members of Berkeley’s sauciest social club at their latest meeting.  “The COVID …

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Posted on April 15, 2020May 5, 2021 by: Shane Pauker

CDC Recommends Pitbull Cease Worldwide Behavior to Curb Spread of Fresh Miami Sound

MIAMI, Fla. – Clean water ambassador and rapper Armando C. Pérez, better known as Pitbull, is at the center of a public health crisis. “A …

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